How to send Sizzlord into a Rage

One of the many things in life that constantly shits me, is the human verbal leech. These are the people that say iniate a conversation and past the normal "hello, how are you?" make absolutely no attempt to put any effort into conversing. When I was young I used to try and fill these verbal voids by thinking up topics, until I realised the people for the fucking vampires that they are and now I couldn't give two shits about them. Verbal leeching is particularly potent when combined with random inane comments. As a perfect example, her is a conversation I had with a girl from one of my university subjects the other day.

Her: HI! I have no home phone.

Me: ...wow. That's weird (Why the fuck would I care?!)

Her: Yeah theres no dial tone.

Me: ....

Me: ....

Me: cool.

Right about there I was ready to apply I cigarette and burn her off me like the leech she is but since we were "conversing" I thought I'd ask about how her group work for our uni subject was coming along, since both her and my group had similiar topics.

Her reply was: ahhhhhhh.

Ahhh? AHHHH??!?! What the fuck is aahhh? I asked you a question. How about a response in english bitch. ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT? This woman wanted to speak to me, she started the conversation and her response to a single question is aahhhh. But the insanity doesn't end there. As I'm coming to terms with the stupidity I've just been assualted with she continues with:

Her: Yeah and my boss made a mistake and is paying me sick leave. He thought I applied for it even tho I didn't so I have to pay him back.

I'm not entirely sure what fucking conversation this girl thought she was having with me, but she's obviously delusional. I asked about uni and I get some shit about work? I see this girl maybe 20min in a tute a week and she thinks I give two shits about her fucking work when I didn't even ask?!?!?!

A part of my innocence died that day and I took another step to becoming Patrick Bateman.