Sadsack's guide on going nuts.

We have noticed through personal observation and generally being better than everyone else that we are awesome. This leads us to somewhat of a problem as noone can match how incredible we are and so how can anyone entertain us as much as we do each other? With this in mind I have devised the guide on going nuts.

The first rule to going nuts is to stop caring, I mean think about it you only live once and you will probably never see the randoms in public again so what is the harm in fucking with them a bit? Next up you need to understand what is appropriate in certain situations, a good sense of propriety will help you to understand the correct way to behave and once you know this you can do the opposite.

Through this guide I'll look at three simple places to begin as you are just learning for now so we will start out slow. First up we have while eating, it doesn't matter where you are eating there are always unmentioned rules, like if you are in a restaurant having a nice dinner you should use a knife and fork, well screw that, have you ever seen a person try to use their hand to eat soup? I don't mean tipping the bowl and slurping from it either, I mean ladling it out all over their face, let me just say hilarity does ensue. However on to simpler stuff, like a family restaurant maccas for example, do stupid shit, pay out customers, steal posters, order things that aren't on the menu, complain about not getting what you ordered when it was exactly what you ordered, throw your pickles at friends or children who pass by. The list goes on and on for dives like that, afterall everyone in there is only one step above complete insanity anyway.

Next we have in public, being in public is great because everyone expects you to give them their own personal bubble which you should respect and not interfere with....WRONG. Shout obscenities as loud as you can, pretend to be retarded and bump into people then go nuts when they try to apologise and if you are really daring fake a mugging or something.

Now my personal favourite is improper toilet behaviour, lose your inhibitions, get noisy, get nasty and most of all get dirty. For the ladies out there pick a stall right next to someone and blast away then start moaning or talking to your urine whatever takes your fancy, say things like 'thats it flow for mamma' and 'oh god this urine is making me thirsty'. For guys it is generally less advised unless you are either masochistic or capable of taking care of yourself to screw with people at the urinal, however you can always go into a stall and pretend to be masturbating or combine improper urination with public places. If you have ever heard a story of us at Mt. Cootha and some bad peeing you would understand just why this is my favourite way to do something crazy.

You have some basics now so let me share some things to remember, try not to fuck with people you don't know too much, we try not to ruin other peoples evening/lives but we can't resist screwing with them a bit. Get yourself some friends who also enjoy going crazy and who can laugh at anything and by anything I don't mean lame garbage crap I mean you can find a funny side to anything....ESPECIALLY cancer. Got Life?