Valentine's Day Rants

Ladies and gentlemen, a challenge was issued and has been answered by four of the five Wanglor Elite. We are to rant on the topic of Valentine's Day. No limitations aside from several restrictions on people/couples we know. Collaborative efforts are allowed. Our aim is to offend as many people as possible in our one sided mysognistic rants against the day that is St Valentine's.

Bring on the rants.