Wanglor Classic: Sizzlord is a Dad

I was cleaning out all my documents when I discovered this atrocity I committed months ago and I thought I'd share. Enjoy everyone.

[Set Up: Sizzlord is talking to a female friend of a friend on msn. At the same time I was slogging througha convo with a girl I used to date many years ago. Here's the transcript of my convo with the first lady (It's been cleaned up a fair bit ot make it presentable, but the words are mostly intact)]

Her: what is Sizzlord doing?

Sizz: talking to his ex ex ex gf

Her: what sorta juicy (shit) has the ex ex ex gf said?

Sizz: well turns out she's struggling to cope with the cost of our kid, so we're discussing child payment.

Her: I feel sort of awkward, are you joking?

Sizz: You think I'd joke about having a kid? Jesus I'm not a complete fuck.

Her: ok so how old is your kid?

Sizz: She's 2. She was born on the 14 of august 2003 at the Wesley, she's so gorgeous.

Her: what's her name?

Sizz: Aoi

Her: Aoi? Blue in Japanese?

Sizz: Yeah her mother picked it cause she's got blue eyes.

Her: is her mother japanese?

Sizz: yeah well her parents are, she was born and raised here.

Her: ahh i see, our age?

Sizz: yeah shes 21 in about a month

Her: werd could never have a child at this age. i can respect that someone could go through with that commitment

Sizz: yeah it was a bit of a shock but u gotta roll with everything

Her: i would have probably aborted

Sizz: yeah? thats pretty heavy

Her: i don't know. if it's heavy. i think there is less emotional involvement because you don't have to raise a child and change your lifestyle but that's what i would probably do in that ircumstance :)

Sizz: yeah i was against it to start with but i dunno, it kinda grew on me

Her: she is your flesh and blood. does she live in bris?

Sizz: yeah they live over at west end. well they do now anyway

Her: nice do you spend time with your daughter? the concept of somebody having a child is foreign to me i dont know anybody who does i only know of people

Sizz: yeah i try and see her a fair bit, not as often as i like. her and her mother used to live down and sydney which sucked balls but now there back its much better.

Her: I love sydney. i want to go there after i graduate. so how does your ex ex ex gf support herself and the baby? must be tough

Sizz: yeah shes got really rich parents and there fucking psychos but they help out and i do what i can but shes got a pretty good job doing graphics at some tech company so she makes a mint off them

Her: noice, lots of friends in bris?

Sizz: shes got a few old school friends i think thats about it we had a pretty bitter break up, were just getting back into it now so im like, reknowing this woman

Her: ah i see do you think you will have a relationship with this woman now? now that you're reconnecting with her?

Sizz: dunno, id like to be close for my daughters sake ahh there we go finally found a photo of her with her aunt

[Sizzlord shows her a random baby photo from google]

Her: of course

Sizz: its a pretty bad pic i cant remember where they took that. i think it was down in Sydney

Her: i don't think it's a bad pic. how old is she? in ze pic

Sizz: i think shes six months probably a month or so after actually

Her: indeed. well i gots nothing else to say so i think i might sreep nite!

[End]

In all fairness, the woman knew me and knew the sort of guy I am. I honestly thought the idea of me having a child was just to fucking stupid it was funny, but she bought it and, in the interest of science, I wanted to see how far I could possibly take the ruse. Needless to say it didn't last long thanks to her friends and I did apologise. It's also one of the few times ever I've felt remorse but I think I got over it.

Extra special thanks have to go to Sadsack for a) demanding I keep going and b) finding the perfect photo of a blue eyed asian baby from the internet. It really sold the whole thing and it wouldn't have been good without it. Thanks buddy.