Sydney Tales

Sadsack and I went down to Sydney last week. Here are some of our tales.

The Retarded Coffee Shop Boy.
So we're lining up for coffee, Sadsack is dying for something to eat so as I order he asks the coffee shop stoner for a sandwhich. He distinctly said the word sandwhich, imply an item of filling between two pieces of bread. The Coffee dude even turned to the food thing beside him POINTED at a sandwhich and asked "Ham?", Sadsack said yeah sure. And somehow he ended up with a motherfucking baguette. I'm sure coffee boy was stoned out've his mind.

The Two Hands
Next we're sitting at a bench row right next to this construction area thing drinking our coffees. So theres big wooden dividers up to seperate out the toilet reconstruction work from the people catching plains. So we're sitting there chatting, theres a lull in the conversation and at that precise moment, a fat chunky set of man fingers comes around the edge of the wooden divider, grips the edge hard and vibrates and doesn't let go! We're going "jesus what the fuck" when ANOTHER different big chunky man hand comes around the corner below the first one, grips it just as hard and they both simultaneously grip it and start vibrating. The hands were maybe half an inch apart and the ultimate kicker was that we heard mumbling and moaning. I think Danny and I were priveleged to some very private construction worker anal sex. After we finished laughing our asses off we got the fuck outta there pretty quick.

The Peeing Club
Yet again at the airport as we're waiting to board there's a stream of travellers coming off a plain and walking behind us. The highlight was a group of girls went past and a split second later another came chasing right up to them screaming out "OMG how was the flight? Are you guys peeing? I really need to pee do you want to go together?!?". And I mean screaming. Sadsack and I just looked at each other and then burst into a fit of laughter. I hope everything went well for them.

More stories later.