My New Years Experience

So yeah following on from Drew's horror story after nearly ripping my toe off on Pete's step I had to look after this dodgy bastard who left vomit all around the toilet...none in it. First we dumped him in the bath tub, where he continued to vomit so I got his shirt off of him...while doing this he vomited a heap of water all over my pants. Then he started screaming out for me going 'DANNY HELP ME HELP ME DANNY' of course he wouldn't listen to me saying that I was Danny, he kept claiming that I wasn't Danny and I was trying to trick him. It came the time when I knew the only way he would recognize me would be when I shoved my cock in his face.

Unfortunately Tewesy wouldn't let me take my pants off so Drew kept screaming, then passing out so we had to keep checking that he was breathing and that he had a pulse, he didn't want to be moved so we ended up pushing him onto his side in the bathtub, then a few hours later he wakes up...looking quite sober as we are all getting ready to sleep and like he hadn't put me through enough already he decides to steal my lovely couch as soon as I have it ready to sleep on.

Happy New Years Drewbie, you owe me :P

I am Aghast Part II

Another tale of sheer human fucking stupidity from work.

Lady, mid 40's comes and puts say 150 dollars of shit on Layby.

Drew: Okay how much deposit did you want to put on?

Lady: I'd like to have 10 dollars left.

Drew: You mean like have 10 dollars left on the Layby?

Lady: Yes

Drew: As in pay 140 dollars deposit? Not just pay 10 dollars right?(Take note of this part, this is the first of two times I specifically ask her how much she wants to put on)

Lady: Yes thats right.

Drew puts the transaction through, she puts it on her card, wants cash out.

Drew: How much cash?

Lady: 50 dollars please?

Drew does it.

Lady: hmmmw why does the total say $190?

Drew: Thats because your making a 140 dollar deposit and taking 50 dollars out. (Second time i mention her paying $140.)

Lady: Oh right yes cool.

Finishes everything off, Lady starts look at her copy of the docket.

Lady: Why is my layby balance $9.99??

Drew:.....thats because you wanted 10 dollars left on it. so the total was $149.99 and you paid $140.

Lady: Oh but I only wanted to pay $10.

Drew: But I specifically asked you if you wanted to pay $10 or pay $140 so there was 10 dollars left. You SAID you wanted $10 left and you even asked my why the total was $190 on your EFTPOST transaction.

Lady: Yeah, can we cancel this and start again? Is that an axe?

Drew: YES IT IS!!

I'm once again speechless. Did she not hear me at ALL? Was she even concious during the transaction? Where any synapses in that brain firing at all? Dear god what is wrong with people!!! I will cry now.

New Years

Here's a tale worthy of the Wang.

So New Years. 3 Beers, Maybe 400mlish of Vodka. Midnight ticks around, Happy New Years, one more shot. I think "Man I have to shit".

Next thing I know it's 4am, I'm in a bath tub, soaked, puke everywhere, no shirt freezing my fucking arse off. I think "WTF, oh man I have to shit". To the bathroom. Puke EVERYWHERE. "Oh man which fucking cunt puked all over the fucking toilet?!?!". Brain flashes, vague remembrances of trying to go to the toilet and vomiting all over the place. Oh yeah it was me.

I don't know if I either a) had some bad fucking beers cause I didn't have that much vodka or b) I'm a total pussy now but goddamn did I have a terrific New Years. Nothing like celebrating the birth of a new solar rotation than being hosed by your mates in a bath tub while you attempt to hose them in vomit. Good times one and all.

Since Dannys the one that actually took care of me I eagerly await his blog to find out exactly wtf I got up to.

Oh and New Years Day we WANGED some stoner faggots outside Maccas. There looks of OMGWTFBBQ were priceless.