French keyboards suck

They do! The keys are nowhre zhere you want! sucks ass. so whats doin? benj
is drinking zith me, zhich is nice. you know how much I hate drinking on my
own.

you`ll be happy to know that me and ben ar keping the wang tradition alive.
we loudly and proudly wangd the city of paris from the top floor of the
Eiffel Tower. it roxzored.

Fucking had to pay 160 qussie bucks to go from here to zurich: holy fuck!
its an eye opner: we leqve tonight. qight bitches; remmbr to post on the
wang. gemmq has a vido camera, so we will gt footage of wanging in every
city. much love. post away!

ps get jono to post on here, th softcock.

I am Aghast

Very rarely in this job do I encounter something that truly stuns me anymore. I've done this shit for so long I was fairly certain I'd seen every possible example of human stupdiity. Well I thought that up to yesterday (Saturday).

Kmart had on sale some SPLIT system (that's important) Air Conditioning units. Because its a SPLIT system it comes in 2 boxes. The wall mounted outlet and the actually cooler thingo. At the end of Saturday I had a few people come up with just the small, outlet box wanting to buy them. Normally we keep all that kind of shit on the floor, so there should be say 5 big boxes and 5 little boxes. Well Saturday arvo we had 5 little boxes and no big ones. I doubled checked out the back, yep definitely all our big ones should be on show.

So get this. Some stupid fuck has come to Layby to grab a cheap air con. This dick has picked up the big box and left the little one behind. Despite the fact that all boxes are clearly marked X of 2, there are retards out there who have only taken one box. I was literally stunned to discover this. What the fuck do they do when they take they Air Con out at home? Try and mount it on the wall. I'd hate to work at the Service Desk when they return it.

"urggghh yeah I bought this AirCon and not only is it a bitch to mount but it does nothing but leak and doesn't cool the room down."

"Um thats cause you needed the fucking OUTLET BOX AS WELL"

Yarrr I'm so glad no one is likely to come up to me and say that because if they did I would have serious trouble not ripping there heads off and mounting it on a pike.

Australian Geologists sure can drink

Yo bitches, and especially mah home boy Jono to the Y to the A to the H-zay reversay-bizzle!

Got drunk last night at a pub called Lefty O'Douls on Geary Street here in San Fran, and my drinking buddies were none other than 12 geologists from Australia. The main bloke I chatted to was a research student at ANU in his final year. I now have contacts in Canberra! Yay for me...
Sadly, the only name I remember is Trev. By the end of the night, everyone's name was Trev. It was just so much simpler that way.

PS, you bitches better be coming to the par-tay at Jaz's place on Friday lunch, or I'm gonna kill someone. Jono, you're excused because you're physically incapable of coming due to that gargantuan elephantine cock of yours being in Mt Isa. And "apparently" (quotation marks) the rest of your body is also attached. *shrug* Who knew?

...'sif you'd miss a pissup for WORK. Bah humbug.

Oh, and I got you three a present each. I hope you like pirates. HAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!

...wang.

Passenger shot dead

Goddamn, I just got off a plane from Vegas to San Francisco and what headline did I read just before I got onto the plane?

http://feeds.cincinnatinews.net/?rid=cab09dc47f1361e0&cat=90d24f4ad98a2793&f=1

Fucking Americans. They always blow too early.

Work work work.

So work has me on every night and every fucking morning and the back dock is like an oven except minus the cum stains, don't ask me why my oven has cum stains it just does. The only saving grace of all this work is I'm getting paid over 400 bucks a week after tax, so soon enough I'll be able to afford strippers....with dicks. Trust me dicks cost extra.

The morning shifts are gay too because you get loads of old people asking you where shit is, only old people are awake when the store opens, who else would be depraved enough to wait outside the doors for the store to open? They zerg in like its resurrection evil or something and start tearing at the shelves as the poor employees scream 'WTFBBQ' and run for the back dock.

But I shall hold out for the money and the male on male action amongst pallets out the back. Actually its mostly just been solo male on male action but I'm sure I'll be able to convince a boy child through the plastic doors for a brand new spraygun toy powered by suckage.

Random Question

Problem solvered, I'll just log in everytime so that everything is pretty. Although, ya'll should go to the page where you can update your blogspot profiles. At the bottom, they have this random question for you to answer for shits and giggles, and here was mine.

Random Question:
If you were a pirate, how would you avoid laughing when saying "poop deck"?

I laughed so hard that I pooped a little.

*sniff*...it's beautiful! WANG!

WANG! :D :D

Yay! Now I get to post on TWO blogs while paying 25cents a minute for internet access! Woot!...Nah, jokes. ;) Man, I can't wait to get back home, this whole legal drinking age 21 crap is SHIT. Especially in Vegas where if you even look at security wrong, they bitchslap your candy ass with their massive biceps and make you scream mama while they violate you rectally with a thermometer.

Not that that's happened to me or anything.

So anyway, it's been a pretty damn tame trip. I guess that's what happens when you're with the family. I'm trying to wingle my way into conning them all into staying at a backpackers in San Francisco so I can at least have some kind of weird shenanigans before I leave the country. So I'll have to say that, until further notice, I can't accept any random dares yet. It's just not safe. ;)

PS: Wanglor is a kickass name. The name of my firstborn child has been found!

Edit: I paid AUS$6 to clean up this post's formatting. I hope you appreciate it. I know I do.

Smell My Perfume

I thought I'd kick off this little endevaour with a random tale of the shit I have to put up with at work. This past week a nice looking lady with her two kids comes up to me to get her Layby. I put her through, grab the parcel etc and everything is fine. Right up until the lady should be leaving...

Lady: Thanks for that, one last thing, do you like my perfume?

Drew: .......um what??

Lady: My perfume do you like the smell of it?

Drew: ahh yeah I guess so I can't really smell it.

*lady sniffs her wrist then holds it out for me*

Lady: I'm not trying to hit on you or anything, but would you mind having a sniff.

Drew: .....

*Drew sniffs the random ladies wrist*

Drew: Yeah it's pretty good I think (it smelled like deoderant wtf!?!)

Lady: Ah excellent....well thanks very much have a good day.

I put up with this shit every single day while you faggots (minus Danny) are off raping rocks or other countries. Still it makes for a good story.

Wanglor Emailing LIVES

Muahahah and now the Redbeard can email his shit in.

The Wang LIVES!

That's right watch the internets tremble in fear.

WWWWWWWAAANNNGGGGG