Favours

I've decided I've hated doing people favours and it isn't because I'm a cruel son of a bitch it's because of the way people act when they know they owe you something. There are many ways a person can react after they receive a favour, one is that they try to undermine what you did for them or talk about how it wasn't really going out of your way or anything. Well I'm sorry but it was out of my way and it took a lot of effort for me to kick down my inner demon and actually help you out so fuck you if you think it was easy.

Then another way is to overthank you for the favour in an attempt to return the favour by telling you how much it means to them or how great you are. Quite frankly I know I'm great and I don't care that it meant a lot to you a favour is only repaid by a favour not by words, there is no way you are getting out of that by telling me I'm an amazingly good friend.

Why can't anyone ever just say "Thanks for the help buddy I really owe you one" and then not pussy out if I actually need something. Though I guess I never really do need favours because I'm able to survive without other people holding my hand...but still it would just be nice for people to accept a favour with a bit of grace.

How to send Sizzlord into a Rage

One of the many things in life that constantly shits me, is the human verbal leech. These are the people that say iniate a conversation and past the normal "hello, how are you?" make absolutely no attempt to put any effort into conversing. When I was young I used to try and fill these verbal voids by thinking up topics, until I realised the people for the fucking vampires that they are and now I couldn't give two shits about them. Verbal leeching is particularly potent when combined with random inane comments. As a perfect example, her is a conversation I had with a girl from one of my university subjects the other day.

Her: HI! I have no home phone.

Me: ...wow. That's weird (Why the fuck would I care?!)

Her: Yeah theres no dial tone.

Me: ....

Me: ....

Me: cool.

Right about there I was ready to apply I cigarette and burn her off me like the leech she is but since we were "conversing" I thought I'd ask about how her group work for our uni subject was coming along, since both her and my group had similiar topics.

Her reply was: ahhhhhhh.

Ahhh? AHHHH??!?! What the fuck is aahhh? I asked you a question. How about a response in english bitch. ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT? This woman wanted to speak to me, she started the conversation and her response to a single question is aahhhh. But the insanity doesn't end there. As I'm coming to terms with the stupidity I've just been assualted with she continues with:

Her: Yeah and my boss made a mistake and is paying me sick leave. He thought I applied for it even tho I didn't so I have to pay him back.

I'm not entirely sure what fucking conversation this girl thought she was having with me, but she's obviously delusional. I asked about uni and I get some shit about work? I see this girl maybe 20min in a tute a week and she thinks I give two shits about her fucking work when I didn't even ask?!?!?!

A part of my innocence died that day and I took another step to becoming Patrick Bateman.

RE followup

So as Drew stated we were in the ATM line at the RE when the ganglor guy and his hot girlfriend started playing toss the poop right in front of us and the chick behind us noticed our looks of horror. Drew admitted pretty easily that he wouldn't mind a chick like that checking out his chocolate starfish however I was more adamant about my disgust, telling her "I don't want anyone checking out my prostate who isn't a doctor and even then that is just a necessary part of life not a fantasy".

The conversation continued on with much bitching from both us and her about the complete deadshits who were trying to learn how to use an ATM machine. I swear some of the calls we made were just rude to apes and retards in general after all I'm sure an ape could learn to use an ATM after 18 years.

We finally made it to the machine and it was starting to get uncomfortable as the chick behind us was still talking about anal fingering, honestly my hole tightened up a fair bit after 5 minutes of this conversation and I'm sure if I had to put up with much more that I would in fact have to vomit up my turds for the rest of my life. Fortunately she just changed to death threats about how we better not take too long on the machine so Drew did his best and we got the fuck out of that uncomfortable situation...never to see her again.

A typical Sunday at the RE

People don't usually believe random shit just happens to us. As proof how is this. Danny and I are in the line for the ATM, facing the back of this ganglor dude when his girlfriend starts running her hands up and down his back, inside his shirt and then (get this)..down the back of his pants. I mean down. Like whole hand in there searching for lost keys.

Danny and I turn to each other and just make a "wtf" look with our eyes. The look is seen by this random chick behind us who says the immortal line..

Her: Oh come on you can't tell me you wouldn't want *her* fingering your arse.

I admitted that it was a secret desire of mine to be anally fisted by a hot chick. Surprisingly the random chick didn't even flinch and just went on by saying

Her: Oh totally, I mean if I had a boyfriend and he asked me to do that I'd be so keen.

This then launched a 10minute conversation of the pros and cons of anal fisting and why they mite have felt the need to do such a thing in public. Some people may say 10 minutes is excessive but thats how long it took for the two dumb sluts slightly ahead of us to figure out the simple processing of putting a card into the machine and recieving money. They weren't even drunk either, just fucking stupid.

Anyway we made a parting call after I'd gotten money out and we never saw the girl again. I fear for her boyfriend.